Check out Merida and her bear cubs at the Magic Kingdom. She is near the Fairytale Garden:

OH MY GOD I AM GOING TO GET ONE OF THOSE PLUSH BEARS.

Art from Don Hertzfeldt's Rejected

If you are shaking your heads about the Brave movie, you probably saw the stupid American trailer. Get with the program and PEEP THIS:

NOW, you get why I’m excited about this film. I may even…GASP…go to see it in the theater.

So I promised to show you the rest of the mayhem from our trip to Busch Gardens Tampa. Probably over half of our day was just doing things that didn’t even involve going on rides, since Harknell doesn’t ride.

La la la looky at the maps:

Of course *I* had to ride one of my favorite coasters in the world: Shiekra:

I’ll never forget the first time I went on it. I didn’t know what kind of ride it was. BOY was I surprised when IT HELD ME ABOVE A GIANT HILL FOR A FEW SECONDS THEN DROPPED ME AND THEN OH MY GOD. Everyone was laughing at me. HAHahah!!! :D I went on again right after that.

We got to feed the lorikeets!

HAHA Harknell on the Skyride losing his shit:

Me!

Awesome themeing of the park surroundings:

We stayed in the park until closing. The first part of the day was mostly rides, and the second part of the day was mostly animals and randomness. We got to see some baby lemurs, but mommy lemur kept snoozling them so we couldn’t get a good pic. (Also I didn’t want to disturb her.)

All in all, an awesome day. The rides are really fun in this park, but the great atmosphere and food is what makes it a true repeat estination for us. I can’t wait to return in October for Howl O Scream. OH YEAH OH YEAH!

BGT is only about an hour away from Disney World. We go to this park every time we visit Florida.

They have 2 new attractions that I got to try this time. Let’s talk about this stuff right here.

Cheetah Hunt:

Cheetah Hunt is their newest coaster that opened a year ago. (It was so popular I didn’t get a chance to ride it on my last trip!) It has 3 launches throughout the ride and tops out at about 60 mph. People who are more interested in high numbers than a good ride might talk trash on that, but they suffer from The Stupid. Any metal coaster park can build the tallest, fastest, most butt-inverting boring ride that means nothing, changes nothing, and is forgotten in 3 years. In my opinion, truly great rides call upon good theming and psychology to create an experience that tells a story rather than another cookie-cutter herpa derp parade. Cheetah Hunt nails it.

The best part of it is that this CH isn’t super rough, so I believe it would be great for novice riders and pros like me. Look how cute!!!

(But not for Harknell. He will never ride any of them. :) )

What you have here is a smooth metal coaster that messes with your head. I liked it so much I rode it twice. If this is any indication of what Verbolten at Busch Gardens Williamsburg will be, I cannot wait for our Geek Meetup this June 30th in Virginia.

(BTW: RSVP via Facebook, comment on this post, or join our Geek Meetup mailing list to come with us. More details are here.)

Icesploration:

Icesploration is their newest show. It’s actually an ice show. My understanding is that they haven’t had an ice show in the park for quite awhile. They don’t allow flash usage in the theater (for obvious reasons), so I just took these quick iPhone shots without flash:

The idea is that a grandfather is showing his computer-obsessed grandson the world. The sets were really well done. I particularly loved the jellyfish that dropped down from the ceiling. The quality of the show was super-high. My only problem with it was that the person who played Austin during this particular shift was having trouble delivering his lines convincingly. That was a small part of the show, though. The main attraction here are the ice skaters in their animal-inspired costumes. The best scenes were the ones where they were insects that ended up “flying” with wire work. there was also a really cool scene where Gazelles were being chased by a lion. (I think it was a lion, I have the memory of a gnat. Whatever it was it was one of those giant cats that eat things GRARRRrrrr!) Harknell really enjoyed it, and he’s a dude. You should go see this!

NOMS:

We also got to try lunch at the Crown Colony. The food here is really good! It reminds me of a better version of a Jersey Diner that has the old style homemade breads and stuff. I highly recommend this place! I am only sad because I was feeling sick (no way was that going to prevent me from riding everything!), so I couldn’t eat as much as I normally would have.

Rides are only a small part of what you can do at these parks. Harknell doesn’t ride rides and he loves them, too. We did so much I am going to have to continue the rest of this in a second post. It’s like midnight and I’ve been working since I woke up at 7:30AM. Again.

Zzzzzzzz….

BTW GAIZ FLAMINGO JAMBOREE:

Kontrust is a metal band, but seem to also have influences from Spanish music. They are from Austria, but the lead female singer is from Poland.

This is definitely different from anything else I have seen in metal. What do you think about this?

EDIT:

WHAT THE…LEDERHOSEN??? LOOOOL.

Also, I would like to set a release date for my first book!

I’m not one of those people who can’t stand being around others. I am actually extremely social. I just don’t like being around obnoxious people.

I really am not sure why, but there seem to be more of them these days. The asshole kid who started shouting as loud as possible “OH COME ONNNNN THIS IS BORINGGGGG!” while his parents did nothing but laugh during the pre-show of the Tower of Terror at Disney’s Hollywood Studios last week reminded me of this.

Theaters and most commercial businesses will not remove obnoxious people or even bat an eye to make them feel they are doing anything wrong. My guess is that this is because people are very quick to sue, but I really don’t know. I have often been in the situation where my entire experience was ruined due to someone being loud, obnoxious, pushy, or just plain rude. Theaters have been very bad for this, plus the atmosphere in theaters are the opposite of what I consider nice. Why do I want to pay money to be uncomfortable when I could wait a short while, rent the movie, and then watch it at home?

AMC has this new thing called the Fork and Screen and Cinema Suites. Both of these places are set up so that you can enjoy a meal while watching the movie. Fork and Screen allows children to attend, which rules it right out for me. If I’m paying to go out, I do not want the risk that I’ll be sat next to a dysfunctional family that lets their kid take its underwear off, shit on my plate*, and loudly run around screaming all night. I have the worst luck with that. When negligent parents are involved, you get held hostage. For whatever reason, correcting awful parenting is just Not Done. Considering children are often a big topic on politics in this country, you would THINK that people would care more about children being raised to not be little ass shits and to not be neglected, but nope. I almost think that if I said something to a parent that was about to light their kid on fire and throw them off a cliff I’d get backlash. I am only HALF joking with that statement.

Cinema Suites really appealed to me because it is 21+. Then they changed their pricing. It used to be that you paid $25 and got something like $15 of credit toward the food. Then my understanding is that they changed it to $20 and you got no credit for food. I just tried to look up what it is now, but the site is loading weird. It could be that they changed it back to being cheaper. If this is the case, it might be an option for me in the future. Has anyone done this recently? Can anyone say if they are worth it or not?

However, I still am the type of person that would rather save my movie money and apply it to my next trip to Florida. I think the past years of going to theaters and feeling like I had a crappy experience are going to take some time to forget.

* Once in a restaurant a parent allowed their kid to come over and slap it’s dirty hands all over my silverware and plate. FML.

“He knows if you’ve been bad or good …but he’s going to kill you anyway. It’s time for Creepo’s Christmas in 3-D.”

In 2011, I did a 12 hour round trip drive to my old hometown of Pittsburgh, PA to visit The Scarehouse. I had only limited time to do a haunt. I could have chosen others to go to, but The Scarehouse seemed to be a legit, stand alone haunt so I went with them. I joked with @ScareHouseScott on Twitter that they’d better be good because I passed up going to Kennywood for them.

I was only half joking. Longtime readers might know that me giving up a day at a theme park is only one step from me cutting my arm off. I have a PhD in SRS BZNZZ when it comes to theme parks. They may as well call me CAPT. MS. SUPERBUTT RIDE WARRIOR III ESQ. ALL CAPS.

I’m a also serious asshole snob when it comes to my haunts. It takes more than guys with chainsaws to amuse me.

The Scarehouse delivered. I highly recommend them. You can read my review from last year if you are curious as to how our trip went.

I’ll be back this year, Scarehouse!

They have a new album out soon called Magic Hour.. It will be available in the US on June 5th. I like the video, but didn’t quite care for their first single, Shady Love. I felt it was a lot less awesome than everything on Night Work. Still my hopes are high for their next full album. Maybe the song will grow on me.

Here is their next single, Only the Horses:

Coming October 2012 from Third Rail Projects (aka The Steampunk Haunted House people): An immersive theater experience housed inside a former outpatient wing of the Greenpoint Hospital. Only 15 audience members will be admitted per show.

Not much info is available yet, but click here to see their newly launched website, follow them on twitter and become a fan on Facebook.

If you’ve been following my haunt reviews, you might remember that out of the hundreds of attractions I have been to from New Jersey to Pennsylvania to Florida and back, these guys were the best of the best. (Read our review here and the external article I wrote over at NJ.com about it.) I have high expectations for this one. It’s likely going to be a can’t miss event.

In fact, if you missed any of their past shows, I feel sorry for you. (But I feel more sorry for me that I only discovered them last year.)

I may have explained this in other places, but many people have asked me lately why I am so enthralled with Disney World. Why would I of all people love a corporate entity so much?

There are a few reasons behind this. Some personal, some logical. The logical reason behind it is that I feel it’s pretty ridiculous to pshaw WDW when every other company you purchase anything from does the same business practices. Unless you are a monk who lives in a cave on Mars, sews all of your clothing, and grows all of your own food, you aren’t going to be able to avoid big modern companies. Unlike many other companies out there, WDW never lies to me. I know right away what I am buying from them and I feel that I get my money’s worth when I go. I never, not once leave that park feeling like I was ripped off. People who complain that the food is pricey are missing the point. You are paying to eat that sandwich in a beautiful place with actors catering to you. (Also, have you looked at the prices of food in NYC, lately? Not too far off.)

No where else can I feel like I am in the middle of an interactive video game. You may not know this, but WDW actually employs actors (other than the Disney characters) to just walk around the park and speak to you in character. I still have yet to meet the Mayor of Main Street – he is one of the “NPCs” (Non-player characters in video game speak) who are there to role play with you.

Now onto the personal reasons. When I was abandoned as a baby, I grew up in a household without much money. We didn’t have shit. Disney Cartoons were the one thing we could do as a family that did not cost very much. My whole childhood I wanted to go to WDW, but it just wasn’t happening. One day when I was about 8 my brother told me we were going to WDW. I got so excited that I started crying. A few days later he gave me a broken Disney Castle playset. The horse had only 3 legs. He told me “There’s your Disney. See? You went.” I was crushed. I think I cried for days. I later found out that he went all the time on his own without the family, which made it even crappier.

I did get to go for a couple of days on an art program in High School that my sisters all chipped in on. Sadly, we did not get to see much of the parks because none of us inner city kids had much money. We only had a few hours to see any of the parks. We barely rode anything. Still, I was very grateful that I got to have this experience. To this day I say that this trip changed my life. Rather than looking on it as a sad thing that yet again the thing I wanted to most was given to me only half way, I vowed once again that I’d get there one day on my own terms.

For a few years I forgot about it because I was so busy working and paying my way through college. Those were some very tough years for me. I still regret so much that I could never do the WDW internship.

You don’t realize how much hard work and abuse you can take until you actually go through it. You can survive an awful lot, which is why I always tell people never give up! If you give up you prove the people who say you couldn’t do it right! Everyone, including my High School counselor told me that I would never amount to anything – and I proved them wrong over and over again. I put myself through college, I have a nice job, and great friends. I am no one special. I was just too much of an asshole to give up.

Giving up is bullshit, if you keep working and keep a positive attitude, you will get to where you want to go. Do not get discouraged when you are not an overnight success. Every success is at least 10 years in the making if you have to work from scratch, but it is most certainly possible.

But anyhow, back to my point. In 2008, I received a good promotion at my job. I was finally on a legit CEO track. I was able to pay off my debts from college and have a little bit of extra money. I budgeted well, canceled cable, and did other things. Harknell and I planned to go to WDW in September 2008.

Then I lost my job in July 2008 and we had to cancel the trip. Oh yes, I cried.

Remember what I said about not giving up? A month later I had a job offer for much more money than before because HOLY SHIT I was not going to give up now. Our trip was postponed until October 2008, coincidentally this was right when all of the Halloween festivals took place. This ended up being a better time for us because we got to experience our first ever Halloween Horror Nights. (We still had not discovered Howl O Scream.) Harknell does not ride most rides, but loves haunted attractions. I hadn’t gone to many haunted houses yet, but love rides.

This made the first trip that much better for us. We got to each learn about what each of us loved. (Harknell still does not ride roller coasters but loves the parks just the same.) Again, this trip was another life-changing experience for us and the beginning of the #OniHaunts Haunted Attraction Reviews. I remember all of our long term friend cheering for us when we finally went…they knew what this had meant to us. They knew how long and hard it had been.

WDW never gets old for us. For me, it is the physical manifestation of what I’ve worked for my entire life for. After how much shit I’ve seen I pride myself in never losing the sense of fun and wonder I had when I was 10. When I have been in my darkest mental states, it’s reminded me to not be a jerkface. I actually learned things on that first trip. The residual bitterness that I have in relation to the past occasionally has to be put into check, I am far from perfect. I knew WDW would be fun, but I had no idea that I would return to NJ with a different outlook on life – all from a theme park.

I have been wordy lately since I have been dealing with artist’s block from again working myself too hard. Thank you everyone for riding along with me during all of these years. I am very excited to get to work and do even better art than before and use my convention to help those struggling like I have.

Remember: Never give up and never listen to idiots who tell you you can’t do something. You will surprise yourself so much with how much more you can do than you every though. The key is to not give up. NEVER give up.