That awkward moment when you accidentally send an email to a random person with a Quest for Glory Asspoop image as an attachment. Thanks, iPhone. Thanks for remembering literally everyone I have ever emailed.
Mom: What was the point of the Asspoop and which one were you referring to specifically?
Me: It’s more like a series of Asspoops that ensures that I don’t lose the game. In ancient times you could die in games for absolutely no reason, so I needed to make numerous Asspoops. Just consider Asspoop the same as Geico, only this insurance insures my hybrid Thief / Magic User. Asspoop is like, the Thanksgiving of video games.
Just kidding, my Mom has never used a computer in her life. Thank God.
Let me explain to you The Legend of Asspoop.
The second I was able to put the initials in as “ASS” in arcade games when I was like, 7, it was on. Because I have always been a very serious person who walks around furrowing my brow about the existential facts around the posterior.
At first, you could only put 3 letters in. Once you could put more than 3 letters in, “ASS” was no longer enough. That is when I added “POOP” to the “ASS”. Thus creating a word combination to fully fill up the allotted bullshit in which I could mess with.
So basically what I am saying is that since I am unemployed right now I have been able to take some time between working (yeah, I tend to always work on things) to catch up on some of the old games I have. Anyone who knows anything about life knows that old games are the best.
I wasn’t permitted to watch Star Trek: TNG while living at home. Later I didn’t have a TV so I am just now watching it for the first time. I’ve seen almost all of the other Trek series’ first. DS9 is my favorite.
No one warned me that the first season is “special”.
Then Harknell asked me to post this, because LOL.
It’s not been the easiest time lately. I had been working 70+ hours a week, and now that I am unemployed it was bit of a change. It’s taken a bit for me to find my voice again. I have been doing anywhere from 1-3 interviews per day, which means that it has just as exhausting as working. I am so tired. The difference is that I get to explore the city in between my appointments. I got to see a wooden escalator in the big ass Macy’s near Penn Station, NYC:
The store itself smelled like fish and dust. Just run past that toward the loudest sound ever to see this awesome wooden escalator. I thought it was going to kill me. I love shit like this.
Thanksgiving was low key – as is usual for me. The one benefit of not having had much support when it comes to getting to where I am today is that I also don’t have any awkward forced gatherings to go to. I spend the time with those who have been there for me and there is no drama. Basically all I did was make bacon-wrapped blue cheese dates. This is probably the only way to make bacon better. Trust me:
I feel like I haven’t seen Harknell in months even though we live together. This holiday has been the best because of SPENDING TIME TOGETHER. The best. THE BEST.
Also, I met this guy:
He was sitting like a dude inside the train station waiting for a train. He did not give a shit. Humans were walking around him so closely and he was like, “Get the hell out of my pigeon way.”
So, I am still picking my thoughts up here. I haven’t been feeling remotely happy recently, but I am starting to do better with the help of those around me. I have a couple more haunted attraction reviews to get out and a lot of new art to get out. I also am busy working on some books. I am still screwing around with it all and will announce more on that when I can.
If you are shopping for the holidays, check out my store.
So hey, what could have made the day that I lost my job even more awesome? Being bellowed at by a person working for Aveda. I was pretty stressed out because I hadn’t gotten much sleep in months so I went over into the Aveda Store in Grand Central to try and clear my head during lunch.
I liked the idea of the holiday gifts they have because it seemed to be an opportunity to try a lot of things out for a more reasonable cost. It always seemed a little difficult to decipher what some of their stuff was. I figure that I like their shampoo that my stylist uses on me and it works with my many allergies, so why don’t I look into the gift sets to get a better idea of their products?
Because of allergies and not knowing what the fragrances were I went into the store to look at the different options. The shelves had the gift sets in their boxes. Out in front of them, right where every other store keeps the testers, were out of box bottles of product. It’s a pretty standard procedure in cosmetics stores that you’d flip open the cap on a few of them to smell what the fragrance is before buying. After several minutes a sales person comes over to me and in a very loud and aggressive tone snaps at me, “Those aren’t testers!”
I was like holy shit what the HELL is up with this lady’s tone of voice. Then I get a lecture about how I am damaging their product from this same lady while she passive-aggressively offers to get me a tester from behind the front desk.
At this point I was done. She can keep her mythological hidden tester. She won. She convinced me that I was not welcome in that store in her pathetic attempt to assert dominance over me so I just left.
Aveda really needs either put a sign out saying that these bottles aren’t testers, remove the bottles entirely from the front of boxed products, or teach their sales people to not be nasty to the customers who are inevitably going to think that these are testers. I spoke to their social media person who had me send this in to corporate over a week ago. I never got a reply.
I have to thank Aveda for making the day that I lost my job even more awesome. The next time I want to have someone scream in my face I’ll remember to come back to this store. You know, because being treated like an asshole is something that is rare. I really do try and look for companies that make me feel like I am a subhuman pile of shit.
After I got back from lunch I was told that my job was being eliminated. All in all, a pretty awesome day.
I do like Aveda products, but I think I am going to stick with only the Smooth Down shampoo and conditioner that my stylist uses on me and forget the rest of it. It’s just not worth it. I understand how stressful it is to work retail, but I will never understand why some people feel the need to belittle customers in high-end stores. I never treated customers like that when I worked in a customer-facing position. Not once.
I am unsurprised that I was the only customer in this store. Maybe everyone else realizes that its not a good idea to go into this location. One of the few recent reviews from 2013 on Yelp also references getting a face full of attitude from Aveda staff.