Eastern PA is the best area for haunted attractions that I have been able to find so far such that when I move away from this area I plan to still spend a few weekends up here to see all of the haunted houses. It’s very possible to be an idiot like me and to do 3 haunted attractions in 1 night in Eastern PA because they are located so close to each other.
Haunt fans would be well-advised to travel here and make a mini vacation out of it. I believe that Eastern PA beats Florida for haunted attractions by a lot.
For example, you have Field of Screams, Hotel of Horror, The Freak and the Funhouse, and many more in the area creating innovative and terrifying shows that are so original that you can almost see the heart and soul of the designers and actors when you go through.
I had the opportunity to check out Halls of Horror in Palmerton, Pennsylvania for the first time this year.
Halls of Horror is known as a more “extreme” haunted house. I had some pause about this because I have a well-documented ideological difference with what is today called “extreme”. I am not down with the “torture porn” simulations that like to bill themselves as “extreme haunted houses”. I do not believe those types of attractions are haunted houses at all.
The distinction is that Halls of Horror is not a torture house. It is “extreme” in the traditional sense in that it is a great haunted house executed well with a lot of enthusiasm and innovation.
Let’s talk a little bit about what Halls of Horror does that no one else I have ever been to does: Blood Experience.
You can choose 1 of 2 ways to go through Halls of Horror. You can go through the regular way where people don’t touch you or you can go through the Blood Experience way which will get you a free white t shirt to wear while you go through and get covered in fake blood.
The fake blood actually washes out completely so my fears of ruining my pants were unfounded. I didn’t do Blood Experience this year but plan to in 2015. It is worth noting that if it is cold you should plan to wear a coat or jacket that you can easily wash. Even though the regular route through the attraction does not include blood it is possible that you may bump against something that has blood splattered on it.
I got to talk to many customers while they were leaving the Blood Experience and everyone LOVED IT. I can’t wait to do it next time.
So let’s talk about the standard haunted house. I can honestly say that Halls of Horror is probably the best and scariest haunted house I have done this year. The actors were insane and had a high amount of skill. The sets were built in such a way that the actors can come at you from many different directions, including the ceiling. They can even move the walls around to mess with you,
Yeah I think chainsaws are boring but not when the chainsaw guy is slicing at me through a FREAKING ROOF.
It is worth noting that this haunted house is not for children or the easily offended. If you are just starting out and have not done a haunted house before you likely will not make it through this one. We went through with some young girls who insisted on going in even though the staff advised them not to – they only made it 3 rooms in.
This is not a candidate for My First Haunted House. This is where you go when you want to get rocked.
You will hear profanity and words that aren’t politically correct in here. People will separate you from your group and make you go through sections on your own. If this were a movie it would probably be rated R.
We felt that this haunted house was masterfully executed, unique, innovative, and just plain phenomenal. Halls of horror is another gem that we can put into our pantheon of the best haunted houses in the industry.
We went here on the last day of operation and plan to go early in the year next year. Just know that this isn’t your grandma’s haunted house unless your grandma is really freaking cool. I mean, I know some grandmas who can kick my ass.
Do this one!
Oni Hartstein is a Los Angeles-based CMO and entrepreneur that is obsessed with progressive rock / metal, marketing, and nightlife. Please direct all business inquiries or review requests to the "Contact" tab on the top nav bar.
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