Warrior Woman

How to be successful in the arts or anything else: Stop assuming things about others and undercutting yourself

When I am at conventions people come up to me and tell me what they can’t do. They can’t make comics like me, they can’t go to haunted houses like me, they can’t make a convention like me.

No, seriously.

Very often the conversation starter is about my work and how they couldn’t do that or they have no skill for this. When I point out that the best thing is to just break it up into pieces and do it they often reply with something like “Oh that’s easy for you! You are awesome!”

GUYS. WHAT THE HELL. NO.

I have news for you. There is NOTHING special about me other than my outlook. Here it is in a nice cheat sheet for you:

1. I was too stupid to give up. I just kept going.
2. I broke things up into manageable bits and moved forward.
3. I only associate with people who “get me” and are encouraging. I do not associate with people who are negative.

Easier said than done, but there it is.

Some may be surprised but things don’t work out all the time for me.

ALL THE TIME.

In fact I daresay that life has been nothing but a spewing fountain of shit in which I have to dig through as if I were on the worst episode of Double Dare ever.

What happens is that I respond differently to it (usually). I do not enter a situation with the expectation that things will be smooth. (No pun intended.) I assume that my job is to manage change. I stay as calm as possible and formulate a new plan. I can give you an example. If I were planning my wedding (HAHA! I never had one – ANOTHER example of things not going right for me.) and my cake got destroyed the day of the wedding and I couldn’t get another one in time, what would I do?

Freak out? No.

I’d go to the supermarket and get cupcakes from down the street. No cupcakes available? Cool. I’d be like “Alrighty then. Can we get a good photo op of this? Anyone have a prop chainsaw and maybe a garden gnome?”

Does it suck? Yes. Did anyone die? NO! Will everyone have great stories to tell later? Yup. Just like the time I lit my NYE party on fire. I can’t live that shit down if I tried…

Perspective.

I can see a bride-zilla freaking out all boo hoo boo hoo that her cake was destroyed

and then there’s me looking for a garden gnome and a chainsaw.

PERSPECTIVE!

You move to plan B. Life is usually not perfect. Own that.

It’s so easy to look at other people and to see the results of their work and assume that it just happened and that they could have BOTH what they have and what I have if something were just different. This is not true.

For example the most common thing I hear are parents who have cable TV, kids, pets, buy action figures, and go out to movies a lot musing over how I can travel so much. The reason I can travel? It’s because I don’t have cable TV, kids, pets, action figures, or go to see movies in theaters pretty much EVER.

People aren’t thinking of the big picture – the lifestyle that you have to live to do certain things is a distinct one. I live a very austere lifestyle when it comes to some things so that I can do other things that I want to do – namely my career and travel.

Anyone can do what I do as long as they realize that the results they see aren’t magical – there are real lifestyle choices made from hard work and sacrifice that were made and adhered to to get me to this point.

There always will be the kid of the CEO who is as dumb as a sack of vaginas with an attitude to match that gets cool stuff for nothing, but all of the successful people I know aren’t like that. Being as dumb as a sack of vaginas only gets you so far. You can’t stuff your money into your head and grow a better brain or a more kind heart. Even those with advantages that have lasting success are far more organized and kind that you might realize. Look how fast many pop stars made of the kids of rich people fade.

The bottom line is that a lot of people see others’ success as a way to make them feel not as good about their own skills. Stop it. It’s not true and it’s not productive. You are as successful as you think you are. So if you lack confidence like I did when I started just take on a fake persona in your mind of someone who is successful. Play that person every day as if you were on a TV show. Then one day you’ll find you became her.

Life isn’t about making lemonade out of lemons –

its about laughing at the shitty grapefruitberrychocolard-ade you had to make that got the job done maybe.



Oni Hartstein is a Los Angeles-based CMO and entrepreneur that is obsessed with progressive rock / metal, marketing, and nightlife. Please direct all business inquiries or review requests to the "Contact" tab on the top nav bar.

Hang out with me:
Twitter: https://twitter.com/onezumi
Instagram: http://instagram.com/theonezumi
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/onezumi

- Share this post:

One Commnet on “How to be successful in the arts or anything else: Stop assuming things about others and undercutting yourself

Comments are closed.