Why I am not seeing The Avengers this weekend

NOTE: This is the beginning of the phase where I transfer My Annoying Life comics to now run periodically on this blog so that I can use all of the Onezumi.com website to better support Stupid and Insane Defenders Against Chaos. Let me know what you think as time goes on, please. It is my hope that this will allow me to give you the best comics over here in a timeframe that I can handle, and give more needed attention to SAIDAC.

Also, I would like to set a release date for my first book!

I’m not one of those people who can’t stand being around others. I am actually extremely social. I just don’t like being around obnoxious people.

I really am not sure why, but there seem to be more of them these days. The asshole kid who started shouting as loud as possible “OH COME ONNNNN THIS IS BORINGGGGG!” while his parents did nothing but laugh during the pre-show of the Tower of Terror at Disney’s Hollywood Studios last week reminded me of this.

Theaters and most commercial businesses will not remove obnoxious people or even bat an eye to make them feel they are doing anything wrong. My guess is that this is because people are very quick to sue, but I really don’t know. I have often been in the situation where my entire experience was ruined due to someone being loud, obnoxious, pushy, or just plain rude. Theaters have been very bad for this, plus the atmosphere in theaters are the opposite of what I consider nice. Why do I want to pay money to be uncomfortable when I could wait a short while, rent the movie, and then watch it at home?

AMC has this new thing called the Fork and Screen and Cinema Suites. Both of these places are set up so that you can enjoy a meal while watching the movie. Fork and Screen allows children to attend, which rules it right out for me. If I’m paying to go out, I do not want the risk that I’ll be sat next to a dysfunctional family that lets their kid take its underwear off, shit on my plate*, and loudly run around screaming all night. I have the worst luck with that. When negligent parents are involved, you get held hostage. For whatever reason, correcting awful parenting is just Not Done. Considering children are often a big topic on politics in this country, you would THINK that people would care more about children being raised to not be little ass shits and to not be neglected, but nope. I almost think that if I said something to a parent that was about to light their kid on fire and throw them off a cliff I’d get backlash. I am only HALF joking with that statement.

Cinema Suites really appealed to me because it is 21+. Then they changed their pricing. It used to be that you paid $25 and got something like $15 of credit toward the food. Then my understanding is that they changed it to $20 and you got no credit for food. I just tried to look up what it is now, but the site is loading weird. It could be that they changed it back to being cheaper. If this is the case, it might be an option for me in the future. Has anyone done this recently? Can anyone say if they are worth it or not?

However, I still am the type of person that would rather save my movie money and apply it to my next trip to Florida. I think the past years of going to theaters and feeling like I had a crappy experience are going to take some time to forget.

* Once in a restaurant a parent allowed their kid to come over and slap it’s dirty hands all over my silverware and plate. FML.

Oni Hartstein is a Los Angeles-based CMO and entrepreneur that is obsessed with progressive rock / metal, marketing, and nightlife. Please direct all business inquiries or review requests to the "Contact" tab on the top nav bar.

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12 Responses to “Why I am not seeing The Avengers this weekend”

  1. Charles says:

    Im skirting the worst of this by seeing an unannounced midnight screening at a small theatre in my neighborhood. Last time I went for a midnight release there were 5 people in the entire room.

  2. mayo says:

    Choral concert. Kid sitting behind me (presumably RELATED TO one of the performers) spent half the concert texting on a clicky keyboard. In my ear. WTF.

  3. There is one reprehensible exception to “correcting awful parenting is just Not Done”

    Get out in public with an autistic or Special Needs kid. And people will CORRECT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU. While it’s been my experience that Special Needs parents are exceptionally patient and long-suffering and just about every time they have to take their kids out is an exercise in dread, bad hair day and being judged by ignorant asshats.

    However in general, we usually don’t hit the big movies the weekend of release, but usually a week or so after, when the crowds have subsided and are calmer and saner. Or better yet, in a bit mob of nerds and geeks where we can be obnoxious in EXACTLY THE SAME WAY, and the “normals” can be weirded out.

    • onezumi says:

      That sucks that people do that to special needs parents. My experience has been that they are usually the kindest, most hard working people. I have heard this from another parent, too.

      It’s ridiculous. Usually if the kid is acting strange I assume it might be the case and don’t mind. I think all kids have hyper days.

      I only get mad at obvious neglect (like the woman allowing her kid to run with an obviously full diaper hanging off of one foot in the laundromat, or the time I had to save a child whose parents had ignored while it walked away from them in the food court and scaled the guard rail nearly falling off the 2nd floor while they guffawed with their friends.)

      It’s like a bizarre concept where idiots get away with whatever, it seems. :(

  4. kschenke says:

    I saw DH pt. 1 one row in front of the largest group of douchey frat boys I’ve ever need off of a campus. I was fuming before the lights went down.

    Oh, and lets not forget the women near me during the Five Year Engagement who would just repeat the jokes they thought were funny.

    • onezumi says:

      Ugh, that’s terrible. :/

      I know when I was younger I used to be more of a jackass, but I’d never screw someone else’s experience up.

  5. Bryan Walsh says:

    I noticed that some theaters are like that, no matter what movie they’re showing, even during an afternoon showing. There’s one near Kendell Park that’s like that. I forgot what the name of it it.

    Personally I would like to see The Avengers movie because it’s written and directed by Joss Whedon and I like the shows he’s been involved with(Buffy The Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, etc.).

  6. [...] I am so excited about this Brave movie. Since I have seeing movies, this is huge coming from [...]

  7. [...] love to go and see this, but my issue with theaters still [...]

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