The F Word: Feminism and the flowbee hair brigade


I feel incredibly awkward when using the term “feminist”. The reason behind it is simple. I was legitimately traumatized by the loud, aggressive, hateful women who purported to call themselves feminist in my Women’s Studies program.

The women who told me that I needed to break up with Harknell in order to hang out with them. The women who told me my clothes were all wrong because the only clothing I was permitted to wear were sandals and long skirts like them. The women who told me that I was wrong for liking Heavy Metal. Folk music is the only music that women are allowed to listen to. The women who talked over anyone who dared to try and bring up issues relating to being poor or nonwhite. The list goes on.

Those women can sit the fuck in the corner and shut the fuck up while *I’m* talking for once.

It was because of Those Women that after getting my B.A. in Women’s Studies, I consciously tried not to use the word “feminist” again. I realized that at times, it turned people off because they equated this word with the man-hating flowbee haircut brigade described above. My personal take on life in general is to not give a shit about labels. I sat through way too many bullshit classes on politically-correct language where we sat around polishing our vaginas over what word to call someone or some thing. After the class was done, I felt like I had just shoved a lawnmower into a cat’s ass. It was that productive.

(NOTE: I actually did have a professor who brought in a Hindu book about vaginas and tried to convince us to “be one with it”. Or something. WTF.)

But I digress. Classes about politically-correct language only served to divide people in the room and make people argue. I have a problem with language. I believe in keeping it simple because I believe knowledge and ideas should be accessible to as many people as possible, regardless of educational jargon level. Everyone knows what the word “fuck” means. So when I say “fuck your jargon and fuck your elitist academic vagina polishing”, most people probably understand what I’m saying.

It was because of These Women, that I felt that I could not use the “F Word”. I did not want to be grouped into a hateful clique that basks in it’s own white lady picket fence privilege.

Assholes are like Whack a Moles. I am beginning to think that the time has come where the mole that needs to be whacked is less These Women who hate and more the assholes who want to make it OK to fire women who use birth control. Stories like this, and ones that are equally stupid are popping up all over the place like hemorrhoids on a sunflower.

I honestly think that racism and sexism had a comeback ever since President Obama was elected. It seems to get back at him, and the democrats, many conservatives seem to have gone crazy.

Thanks, politicians who started smear campaigns based on hate for leaving the turds out of the toilet and into the mouth of my fairy garden.

It is kind of fucked up that when women’s Issues come up today in 2012, I feel like I’d rather just tell Harknell to speak on my behalf because I know he’ll say the same thing I was thinking with the bonus of being taken more seriously. What the actual?

So maybe it’s time for the “F word” to come back, or it’s time to light things on fire. You decide.

Oni Hartstein is a Los Angeles-based CMO and entrepreneur that is obsessed with progressive rock / metal, marketing, and nightlife. Please direct all business inquiries or review requests to the "Contact" tab on the top nav bar.

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4 Responses to “The F Word: Feminism and the flowbee hair brigade”

  1. M says:

    I feel the same way about feminism. I am also reluctant to call myself a feminist, because it is often associated with hating men or favoring women. Just a couple of days ago I read a really good article in my favorite newspaper, that really set things straight. The gist is the following quote – I don’t remember who was being quoted: “Do you think all people should be equal?” “Yes.” “Do you think women are people?” “Yes…” “Then you are a feminist.”

  2. Something that I learned during my time in the padded room is that it’s best to just hate people equally. Whatever parts you have (or don’t have), I can hate you just as much as I can anyone else. You have no idea how much that simplifies life.

  3. Jared j0Frenzy Ferenczy says:

    Over the past four years of college education, I have slowly been changing my tune on feminism and womens’ issues from butting out because it is not my place to proudly identifying as a feminist. I have the problem of running into Male Rights Activists (MRA) who only have unhealthy views of the opposite gender that have been pushing me away from their cause. I am always for equal rights for everybody, but it seems I can’t help but pick a side in the battle between feminists and MRAs, and I know where I don’t stand.

  4. Haley says:

    I like to think of myself as a humanist. I believe in human rights. I really hate it when people, feminist or not, tell me what I want is wrong. I also agree with you say about the hate coming out of the woodworks and it scares me.

    The birth control issue drives me nuts especially since I am one of those women who use birth control for reasons other than preventing pregnancy. I have been on birth control since I was 16 to control hormone levels so I am not bedridden for 3 or more days because of a migraine. Hormones are assholes and birth control is a saving grace for many.

    Fire is great but it’s too easy to spin against one by the other side. *sigh*

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