You need some parchment and a rolling pin to roll the dough out.

Ingredients:

2 c dark brown sugar
1 1/2 c butter
3 eggs
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp cream of tartar
1 tsp cinnamon
5 c flour
Some cocoa powder

1. Put 5 c flour in a bowl. Mix in the salt, baking soda, cream of tartar, and cinnamon.

2. Cream the sugar, butter, and eggs.

3. Slowly add the dry ingredient mixture that you made in step 1 in to the wet ingredients.

4. Split the dough into 2 parts. Add cocoa powder to one part of the dough until it’s dark, like a chocolate bar.

5. Use the rolling pin to flatten the lighter bit of dough out onto parchment. Next, flatten the chocolate dough out. Place the chocolate dough on top of the lighter dough. Roll it up together like if you were rolling up a sleeping bag.

6. CONGRATULATIONS YOU HAVE TASTY LOG! Wrap the dough log thing with parchment like a big, long candy and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.

7. Slice. Bake at 425 for 10 minutes.

Ooo! So my apartment smells of fresh baked cookies! I made Gingerbread, chocolate-covered gingerbread (that kind of looks like an asshat), and Harknell Spiral cookies. (Of course the Harknell Spirals are based off of Harknell’s shirt in my popular comic, Stupid and Insane Defenders Against Chaos.)

Gingerbread:

All I had were pumpkin cookie cutters plus the chocolate makes it look like a butt but I don’t care they are delicious! You can get the gingerbread recipe over at Martha Stewart. All I did was splop some melted milk chocolate chips on them. I should have melted the chocolate with butter and dipped them to make them prettier but WTH.

Harknell Spiral:

Harknell Spiral cookies are a slightly redesigned version of the same cookies that my brother and I used to bake together after watching pro wrestling and pretending we were Hulk Hogan and the Iron Sheik. Honestly these cookies are the most tasty things EVAR.

The recipe will be in the next post! It is set to post at 7:30 AM tomorrow.

Ahh, holidays. Let me tell you what the holidays remind me of!

Cool Whip is not whipped cream. It is “Whipped Topping. Kraft took SOMETHING…whipped it…then put it in plastic barrels in order to give everyone diarrhea. It tastes like milk, plastic, and moldy ass packing peanuts from hell.

When I was 8 years old I had a dollar. I also noticed that the supermarket down the street had a sale on Cool Whip: Buy 1 Get 2 Free.

Not just 1 free..but 2 FREE! OMG 2 FREE! 2 FREE! OMG!

So off I happily jaunted to the supermarket and procured me 3 barrels of Cool Whip.

I remember thinking HOLY CRAP I had a feast here. Right here was Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, AND my birthday all rolled into one. I attempted to eat all 3 because I had nothing better to do. At first it was a great idea. Then it was a good idea.

Then it was a REAL BAD IDEA.

I was burping cool whip for what seemed like years after that. I only made it through 1 and a half of the tubs. Thank god they were the small size. The lesson I learned that day was of more value than my entire college education.

Fuck you, Rutgers. Nowhere did you mention Cool Whip.

Oooo…..

Most people know about Disney World’s Haunted Mansion (which I LOVE OMG), but Disneyland in California take it one step further in October through the holidays. They re-theme the entire thing to be Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas. (Orlando does not do this.)

Check it:

Fierce. I hope one day to see it in person.

Hey look everyone! My post, The Con Table: Overlooked Key to Success has been featured on webcomics.com!

Most webcomic artists understand that it is a good idea to have a user-friendly Web site with things that their fans can buy. They also understand the value of going through the convention circuit to spread the word about their work and sell their merchandise. These commonly established thoughts are all Good Things.

There is one thing that some comic creators don’t understand: How you conduct yourself when you are sitting behind your convention table and otherwise interacting with your fans is just as important as all of the above mentioned points. This can make or destroy your career…

Click the Link to Read More.